9 Months and 8 Days

As long as it takes someone to have a baby, my hunny and I will be wed.  If anyone I know gets preggers within the next 7 days or so we will probably be sharing a special day together.  I just hope it's no one invited to the wedding.  I wonder, if someone I know drops the baby the day before the wedding, will I have to pay another plate?  If I do at least it will be a child's portion.
Yesterday was the purchasing of the wedding dress!  A monumental day in the preparation of anyone's wedding.  It started with her BFF meeting us at Angela's house after we were let out of church.  The plan was to all drive down to Brea where the store was located.  She would go with her friend, S, and I would hang out with her husband B, and they're baby J.  I imagined B and I hanging out with baby J and walking around the mall near by.  Looking like a homosexual couple taking their adopted baby out for the day.  As it turned out B ad the baby stayed with his sister for the day, so S came down on her lonesome to hang out.  Bummed?  A little.  But it was going to be a great day.  The dress was almost in hand. Angela rode with S and I took off on my own down to Brea.  I was going to meet the girls after the purchase and we would grab some lunch.
I took off, but stopped at a 7-11. (It's one where I'm evidently so well known I'm referred to as "My Friend.")  After a bit of a drive I ended up at the store.  Attached to it was a FRIAR TUX shop that I wanted to look into for me and my groomsmen.  I look around and noticed, "Hmm.  The girl's car isn't here yet."  I started to walk around the corner of the store and noticed them pull up.
On the directions I had provided S, it said on the sheet, "Exit 134B for 57 south."  Which S took to mean as, take the 134 freeway.  A simple mistake.  But It wouldn't be Angela and S if they didn't get a little lost on their way to a destination.  They laughed, I laughed.  Good times had by all.  Turns out, the store didn't open until 12pm anyway.  When we all got there it was 11:40am anyway.  So we hung out for a bit before the doors opened.  But as the hour quickly approached I realized that this store was one of the most popular in the area as more, and more cars full of women appeared.  One was so white that S couldn't tear her eyes away from her.  It was like watching someone look into the sun.  To S' credit the girl was extraordinarily white.  She was like a lighthouse in the darkness.
So the doors open and the stampede commenced.  I bid my hunny adieu and headed for my own adventure.
Across the street was a mall and it was to my understanding that the dress thing would be a little while.  So off I went.  Let me tell you what I've come to discover about Brea.  The women who proudly display their cameltoes out number the women who are pregnant.  (Maybe from displaying their cameltoes so diligently?)  But my greatest surprise would be found in the SPENCER'S store.
For some reason SPENCER'S is making a come back.  I remember when I was a child that SPENCER'S was the store I wasn't allowed into at the Eagle Rock Plaza.  It's basically an adult gift store.  There are a few things inside that can pertain to kids.  I mean, they do have MUPPETS merchandise after all.  But sitting there just across from the Kermit snuggie is a shirt that might say, "Don't Blame Me If She Says Something Offensive, She's The One Who Took My Cock Out Of Her Mouth!"  So which clientele are we aiming at here SPENCER'S?  Children, or the upper crust of society?
Anyways, I wander inside the SPENCER'S to see what's occurin'.  They're preparing for Valentine's Day.  Which means they've got really classy lingerie on display.  You know the kind, it's from Hustler and comes inside a box.  I'm sorry, but lingerie is like wine.  It should not come in a box.  And when I use the word lingerie, I use it lightly.  These things are barely rubber bands that cover the nipples and stretch down to snap tight over the vag.  Alongside the boxed panties are little sassy skirts and other bits of underwear that say things on the back, like "Floozy" or "Whoozy".  Or something that pretty much assures whichever gentleman is reading the phrase won't be reading it for long as he tears the underwear off of his fuck doll for the night.
Well, towards the back are two girls who couldn't have been older than 16.  But of course with the way kids are growing up these days I wouldn't be surprised if they were 14.  One of them is watching her friend try something on.  That something is a pair of panties with a sassy skirt.  But in order to see how "hot" she would look she decided that the middle of SPENCER'S was the best place to remove her jeans  and try on the underwear.  I'm already stumped by this because, A) why are these two allowed into the store at 14 when I was barely allowed to look into the window?  and B) she's trying on underwear right in the middle of a porn store!  For some reason, the movie "Idiocracy" flashed before eyes.  But not until I heard her say, "Do you think Steve will like these?"
So let's review.  This 16(14?) year old girl is trying on lingerie in the middle of a store in the mall.  She is asking her friend if her boyfriend(?) will enjoy the lingerie.  Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?  Or is this pretty much our culture now?
Before my head explodes I get a phone call.
S:  Hillal?
Me:  Yes?
S: We're wrapping up.  Start heading over.
Me:  I'm on my way.
I leave the mall, wondering if the next time I return I'll see Steve's semen rag again, and if she'll be baring Steve's child like everyone else in this mall.
I find my hunny and give her a big hug.  Happy that this part of the adventure is over.
The purchasing of the dress evidently went well.  S says Angela looks so beautiful in the dress.  I can't believe I have to wait 9 months and 8 days to see it!
She picked a dress that Disney has licensed with a wedding gown designer.  I can't for the life of me remember the designer's name.  But it's based off of her favorite Disney Princess.  Belle.  I'm so excited that we were able to make this part of the wedding come true.  You should see the way she lights up when she talks about her dress.
S had to take off to meet her husband and baby, so Angela and I had lunch on our own.
"Purchasing this dress kind of makes if for reals huh?"  I asked.
"Yeah."  She replied.
Then we both thought for a second.
"Actually, we made it for reals with that large deposit for the venue huh?" I asked.
"Yeah."  She replied.  

285 Days Left.

Today I got a lot of good advice from one of the students I work with who has been through this wedding thing before.  This time concerning invitations.  The subject came up while I was talking about the invitations we went to look at this past Saturday. 
We went to a store in Pasadena called SALUTATIONS.  It seemed pretty, and had a lot of neat junk.  But it was crap that I would never ever buy in a millions years.  Like glass decanters, and all sorts of other breakable containers for things that make the toilet room smell like someone did not take a dump in it.  We were refered to this store by my best buddy Drew who had purchased his, very pretty, invitations from them.  So we asked about seeing some when the lady behind the counter decided we were finally important enough to listen to.  We were told, "The lady who does that isn't here today."  So kind of floundered by the fact that they did not want our money I was ready to walk out the door.  Then the guy working the counter saw a rent payment grow wings and start to fly and began to be very welcoming.
"I can help!  I can help!"  We were told that the lady who normally handles the invitations wasn't there this day, but she usually comes in on week days.  "Are weekdays good for you?"
"No they're not."  I answered.
Well, he sprang to our side and pulled out a binder with lots and lots of invitation samples inside it.  While we were looking through them and trying to come up with questions he was busy tearing the store upside down looking for the other binder. 
"Just put some sticky notes on the pages you like and we can xerox them for you to take home and look at." We were instructed.  So like good little soldiers, we did.  And we came up with about five samples that really stood out.  Then came the xeroxing.  By the time the twenty minute came up I was convinced the guy was in the back reading out-loud all the information for his army of Beddouin Monks to write what he said on easels.  I was getting concerned.  Finally the woman who "tried" to help us before came out with a thick manilla envelope with xeroxes of all the options we had picked, and she threw in a schedule of the lady who normally helps with the invitations.  Which according to them, in order to get certified to handle wedding invitations you need to take a three day certification course.  Look, I'm not stupid.  I know what I like and what I don't like on an invitation.  And at the prices this store was asking for them you'de think they'd have been a little more eager to get someone in there who knows how to say, "Here's what your card will look like on an ivory card.  Here's what it will look like on a moccah.  Here's courier, here's block lettering.  Would you like a ribbon around them?"
So while discussing the whys and wherefores of getting married, one of the MANY students I work with who recently went through their nuptuals handed out some pretty solid advice.  Make your own invitations.  A  pretty novel idea I think.  I know what I'm looking for.  The paper stock isn't anything that a Michael's could provide.  And it might save us some money in the long run. 
I've been encouraged to shop around a little more before making the decision.  To see if there truly is a savings in making the invites on my own-some.  Plus I still need to talk it over with Angela.  But so far, I'm liking the idea of DIY invites.